How Much Trouble Can One Kosher Meal Cause?
by XxTheSistersxX
Summary: One-shot: How Ron realized that he liked Hermione as more than a friend, and Harry decides exactly how much he hates his friends fighting, and how one should never ever contradict Professor Trelawney (yeah, right). Rated T because we're both paranoid.


**First fanfic from XxTheSistersxX! Read and review!**

**So, this was co-written by ginnypotter7491 and Lady Galilea during a sleepover...we are very awesome, and we know it. **

**Both Lady Galilea and ginnypotter7491 are Jewish in real life, so we actually know what goes on in Jewish life.**

**Disclaimer: Neither of us (though we wish we did) own Harry Potter.**

****How Much Trouble can one Kosher Meal make?

-Or-

How Ron discovered he liked Hermione as more than a friend and Harry learned just how much he hated his friends fighting.

Dumbledore rose out of his seat before dinner started, which Harry thought was very peculiar. Dumbledore never talked before dinner, unless it was a feast. Even Hermione looked puzzled. If Hermione didn't know what was going on, something was wrong. Dumbledore, however, was smiling down at them, and therefore was a good sign.

"Good evening to you all! Before we all get befuddled in our excellent meal this evening, I would like to make an announcement! As Hogwarts is a multi-religion school, and we house not only those of Christian faith, but also those of Jewish faith. And since most of those Jewish students keep what they call 'kosher', we have decided that we will follow their 'kosher' ways for exactly one week.

"The rules of kosherness are very complicated indeed. We may only eat from an animal with split hooves and that chews its cud. We may only eat fish that have fins and scales. A copy of this week's menu may be found on the House notice board.

"Now, we may eat!" Dumbledore said happily, and he sat down and began to dig into an enormous roast chicken. Ron turned to whatever was in front of him, frowned, and turned to see what else was being served at dinner. When he saw nothing made of pig, everyone within vicinity could hear his stomach rumble. Harry took some potatoes and chicken, and Hermione was already eating everything.

"Hermione?" said Ron, frowning. "Do you know anything about these Jewish people?" he said, leaning forward on his elbows. Hermione nodded.

"They're really very fascinating people, Ron. You should really learn about them. Every week, they have a day of rest called Sabbath, on Saturday, where they can't do any work, like use electricity, or tying knots, or using umbrellas…it's supposed to be a day of rest. And then they have a service Sabbath morning to read from something called a Torah. It's a scroll that you read from. I myself am actually trying to learn how to read it. But I don't really think it's going to work out. But really, they're all very nice people." Hermione said, shrugging.

"Are any people in the school we know Jewish?" asked Harry. Hermione nodded.

"Anthony Goldstein, I know, is one, but that's really all I know, Harry. Maybe you should ask." Harry nodded thoughtfully.

From Ron's direction, there came a large growl.

"Couldn't they at least have some pig for their dinners?" he said angrily, and Hermione laughed.

"Honestly, Harry, I think we've got a hard week in terms of food…" said Ron thoughtfully, and Harry, and Harry nodded.

"Wait, tell me more about those-Jew people," Said Ron as they spread out in the Gryffindor common room later that night.

"Jews? Well, I'm one." Oliver Wood, the burly Scottish Gryffindor Quiditch captain, who was passing by, stopped.

"You? Really?" even Hermione looked surprised.

"Wow, really something even _she_ doesn't know," muttered Ron, smirking.

Meanwhile, Wood was now deep in conversation with Hermione.

"Yes, well, my mum's Jewish, so I am," Said Wood, dropping into the large armchair across from Hermione.

"So, did you have a-what's it called, Bar Mitzvah?" Hermione was leaning forward, her eyes huge.

"Yeah, It's really powerful, ancient magic, actually, most Muggles don't realize, they just do it for the tradition, but for the witches and wizards, it's really interesting."

"Wow," breathed Hermione, looking at Wood like he was a god. (Especially memorable, because she was known to call him a 'stupid, Quiditch-obsessed good-for-nothing')

"And she's got another obsession," commented Ron, still smirking.

"Yup." Harry nodded, and walked towards the stairs to the boy's room, leaving Hermione talking with Wood, now copying down notes about the various practices and religious rites.

"There's-there's no bacon! I want me bacon back!" Ron was furiously staring around the table at breakfast, trying in vain to locate his favorite food.

"Of course there isn't, Ron." Said Hermione rather matter-of-factly. Ron merely glanced at her, a scandalized look crossing on his face.

"Hello, Hermione," Oliver Wood was sliding into the seat across from her, a smile on his face.

Hermione blushed furiously.

Ron, however, was looking was looking furious-his ears had turned completely, tomato-red.

All through breakfast Hermione and Wood maintained a lively conversation, wood going on about Judiasm this, and Judiasm that, Ron looking more and more mad as the time went on.

Half an hour later, Ron and Harry were tiredly dragging themselves up the numerous narrow staircases that led to the Divination classroom, Ron still muttering angrily under his breathe. (The fact that he had his least favorite subject after not eating any breakfast did not improve his mood).

"I wonder what Hermione is doing with Wood," wondered Harry aloud as they rounded the corner into the classroom. As always, it was hot, stuffy, and crammed with intricate antique-looking furniture. Hermione had Ancient Runes next period, in the same wing of the castle as Wood's next class, and they'd walkdoff together, Hermione nodding enthusiastically as Wood spoke.

"Hmmmm, no bloody idea," muttered Ron, his ears going bright red as they slid into seats in the back of the room.

"Begin your searching of the future," Cried Professor Trelawney, waving a bracelet-covered arm majectically.

"Fun, fun, fun," muttered Harry out of the corner of his mouth.

Ron merely scowled, prodding the large, cloudy-looking crystal ball on the small tea-table before them.

"Maybe that's not such a good-" Harry broke off as the crystal ball promptly shattered, sending tiny, shimmering shards raining down around them.

_"Reparo_," said Harry, poking the pieces with his wand.

"My dear boy, stop that at once!" Professor Trelawney swooped down over him, her eyes, already magnified by her giant spectacles, were huge. " It is a terrible omen to break a crystal ball…. and to try to reparo it like a simple object? Dear me, no! These must be preserved, and kept safe as a warning!" Trelawney pulled her wand out of her shimmer blue robes, and with a swooshing motion, gathered the shards into her pocket, before slowly walking off, muttering about ill fortune and insensitivity.

Ron snorted. Hermione has stormed out of class earlier that year, and although Ron and Harry weren't up to that, they certainly didn't set much stock in the

'Noble art of the Sacred Future'.

Half an hour later, Harry and Ron were in Transfiguration, Ron's mood considerably lighter than it had been previously. However, the moment Hermione walked in, her eyes dreamy, Ron's expression soured, and he turned, muttering under his breathe, to the book in front of him.

"Oh, Harry!" Hermione breathed, her face flushed with happiness

"What?" he said, bewildered..

"He's-he's just asked me to Hogsmeade!" she said.

"Who?" Harry asked, still confused.

"Oliver, Silly!" Hermione giggled in a most un-Hermione-ish way.

"What do you mean, he's just asked you to Hogsmeade?"Ron had turned around to face Hermione, his face beet red with annoyance.

Hermione glanced at him.

"What I mean is," she said pompously, "Oliver-"

"What you've already started to call him _Oliver_?" Ron snorted bitterly, his eyes filled wih hurt.

"-asked me if would want to go to Hogsmeade with him this upcoming weekend, and I said yes."

Ron didn't talk to her for the rest of the night, although Harry did, admirably, attempt to mediate between Ron and Hermione, and it seemed like they would never ever be friends again, judging from Ron's attitude.

It seemed as though, the next morning, Ron seemed to have forgotten Hermione's presence completely, rather than bicker with her. When she rushed out of the girls' dormitories, Harry and Ron (but mostly Harry) waiting for her, Ron went on talking to Harry on how nasty Snape was and how they should get him sacked or force feed him a deadly poison.

Hermione's face was red and runny, and it looked like she'd been crying. Harry knew enough about girls to know that he should not ask when the protagonist of Hermione's tears was around, or that she probably didn't want to talk about it at all. So Harry was the one that did all the talking that morning.

Ron's behavior was disgusting toward her, if he talked to her at all. He called her a bossy know-it-all more than three times, which was usually the amount of times he called her a know-it-all a week. Hermione's attitude toward Ron was nothing; Ron's feeling of non-existence towards Hermione was imitated by Hermione to Ron, and neither of them could have cared, but Harry hated it when they fought.

It made matters worse when Saturday came. Ron was mopey and dopey from the bad food he'd had all week, and without Hermione to correct his homework, he got bad marks on everything, and twice he was thrown into detention.

Whenever Harry tried to talk to either of them about it, they ignored him, and Harry was lonely. Every Quidditch practice that week, Wood was distracted by his upcoming visit to Hogsmeade with Hermione, and his performance was abysmal. Twice Katie Bell burst into tears when he talked about Hermione, because it was known among them that she liked Wood a lot, though he was completely oblivious to this behavior.

Fred and George were deeply impressed that Wood was doing something other than sitting in his room and talking to himself about Quidich plays on a Saturday, as that was what he was known to do. Angelina and Alicia tried to stop them from upsetting Katie further, but to no avail.

Harry had never known when his friends were in a worse stage than this.

On Saturday, Harry went to breakfast without Ron to accompany Hermione, and she was very quiet and reserved. When she went to the Entrance Hall to meet Wood, Ron appeared, gave Hermione a look of disgust and plopped down next to Harry.

He scowled at the food like it was the food's fault Hermione and Wood were going out. When they got back to Gryffindor tower, it was completely deserted except for the annoying little first and second years, as the whole school was going to see how Hermione and Wood's date went.

When Hermione came back, Ron took an early leave to bed, and Hermione sat down, looking very impressed upon.

"What is it?" he said when she sank into the couch by the fire.

"Nothing." She said. "He's just told me all about Judiasm, and it's all very interesting, that's it. Nothing went on between us. I have no idea why Ron was so angry. If only he'd let me explain to him why Oliver asked me to Hogsmeade…"

Harry immediately went to fetch Ron, and dragged him to the couch where Hermione was sitting. He forced him to sit down and listen to exactly what happened during Hogsmeade.

After listening, Ron went back to bed, but when Harry went upstairs, he saw Ron smiling widely.

"Ah, thank goodness." Said Ron the next morning. "The first day without that crap. _Food_." He moaned longingly. He promptly stuffed everything within sight in his mouth, and then he and Harry went to Divination.

Ron's face was green. They sat down on poufs in the back, and saw that Trelawney has sprinkled the crystal ball he'd broken in a corner.

At the end of the lesson, he went to Trelawney, grabbed her hand, dragged her over to the shards, and then vomited over them.

She fainted, and all of the class erupted into laughter.

The vomit, to this day, symbolized Ron and Hermione's reconciliation, and they were just one little step closer to becoming something more than just friends.

All Ron had to do was get out of the Hospital Wing from too much food consumption and ask her out.

_So, ladies and gents, girls and boys, whad'ja think? Can you review? Please? Honestly, whatever you think, just review, we really want to get feedback. OUr general rule if that is you read something, review it, so can you please play along and spend a few second making our days? _

_Anyway, Professor Trelawney is pretty mad that about what happened in the above story, but she says that she Sees reviews in the Sacred Future, and if her prophesy comes true, she'll forgive us. _

_So, for our sakes, really, just write a stinkin' review. _

_Thanks! _

_Lady Galilea and GinnyPotter7491_


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